Listmania

I am a listaholic. I love grocery lists, to-do lists, book lists, staff lists, travel lists, and obscure lists of any kind. So naturally I was thrilled when Lucy said she was going to do a bulletin board display in the library about lists. Brilliant!

We included books like 1001 Books You Must Read Before You Die, and The 10 Best of Kiwi Ingenuity. In addition, she found some lists such as the biggest libraries in the world (Library of Congress is #1) and most common baby names in New Zealand (Charlotte & Jack). And the best part was that Lucy wanted each of us to submit some lists, too.

We had great fun looking at lists online. The best site by far was Mc Sweeney's. http://www.mcsweeneys.net/links/lists/ McSweeney's is a publishing company founded by Dave Eggers (A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius) whose mission is to support new writers and to promote writing to kids. They wanted to open a writing center for kids in San Francisco, but because of zoning regulations, they were told they had to be a retail store. Their solution? After careful deliberation, they determined that there was a distinct lack of pirate supply stores in the Bay Area. Their writing center now sells pirate supplies at the front of the store, and is a drop-in center for kids at the back. Curt and I went there once and bought loaded dice and an eyepatch, but declined the puffy shirt. As you can tell, they're a bit quirky, and their website is too. It has loads of funny lists submitted by readers such as:
TERRIBLE NAMES FOR HAIR SALONS by John Moe
Shear Hostility
Get The Hell Out Of Hair
The Mane Reason My Parole Was Revoked
Nervous McStabby's Hair Care Place
Reason Has Been E-Clips-ed by Rage
Running With Scissors
In No Conditioner To Drive
Hair Commandant
Cuts & Bruises
Dude, I'm So Buzzed
The Viet-Mane War Memorial
I Hate My Mother
George Hair-ison's Solo Career
Why Won't You Dye?
Mein Coif

Oh boy. I went home and immediately started brainstorming possible lists. When Boone (#4 son) was little, he used to read the dictionary for fun (!) and make lists of all the words that you could type using only the top row of keys on a typewriter (like troupe), or words that begin and end with the same letter (like alfalfa and ammonia). So he was my inspiration on a few of the lists. Being an English teacher also guided my choices, I think. Eventually, I chose the following lists:

PALINDROMES:
Some men interpret nine memos
Dennis sinned
Don't nod
Too bad – I hid a boot
Rats live on no evil star
No trace; not one carton
Was it Eliot's toilet I saw?
Murder for a jar of red rum
Never odd or even
A man, a plan, a canal – Panama!
A man, a plan, a cat, a canal – Panama!
A man, a plan, a cat, a ham, a yak, a yam, a hat, a canal – Panama!

OXYMORONS:
Jumbo Shrimp
Pretty Ugly
Definite Maybe
found missing
exact estimate
alone together
original copies
genuine imitation
sweet tart
peace force
seriously funny
liquid gas

Worst movie titles:
Cannibal Women In The Avocado Jungle of Death
The Incredibly Strange Creatures who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies!!
To Wong Foo Thanks For Everything, Julie Newmar!
Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid
Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood
Phffft
Killer Klowns From Outer Space
How To Stuff a Wild Bikini
Half Past Dead

Celebrities who go by one name:
Madonna
Jewel
Eminem
Prince
Sting
Bono
Beyonce
Pink
Moby
Beck
Usher
Oprah
Cher

Besides finding and writing our own lists, we invited students to add some to the bulletin board. They have included Favourite Songs (of which I was not familiar with a single one!), Places I'd Rather Be Than at School, and Best Fantasy Authors. It's been fun to see the students' responses to the display - both reading it/chuckling at it, and writing a list themselves. Coincidentally, there is a new TV game show in NZ about making lists called The Rich List. Lists must be the latest rage, and Lucy was obviously ahead of her time.

I made one last contribution to the bulletin board - a list of all 50 states in alphabetical order. My Kiwi colleagues were (mildly) impressed.
What lists would you include?