6 months condensed into 4 paragraphs

Good news: we are about to depart for the US, where we will attend our son's wedding. Being in Bellingham in July will be extra nice because it's summer there and it's the middle of winter here. My hands have been freezing every morning as I ride my scooter to work!

Bad news: we have had to switch churches because our (old) church rejected having a gay pastor, which went against our ultra-liberal beliefs. This was not a decision that we took lightly. We were crushed to leave the friends we had made there, and we were especially sad to leave the choir. Fortunately, we found a liberal church nearer to our house and have enjoyed the intellectual stimulation that their service provides. And we've joined the choir.

Really good news: Curt has been painting like mad. He's completed 4 paintings in the last 6 weeks. He's even started doing portraits for the first time. We can't post any photos yet because the paintings are gifts. Top Secret. Shhh.

New news: I have been so obsessed with FaceBook lately that I have ignored my blog for months.

Christmas Letter for 2008

                                                  2008
                         A year of momentous celebrations.
                         … and a few disappointing ordeals:
January -
• in which Megan’s mother Joan was here to visit
• in which we learned these momentous revelations about dear old Mum: she named Megan after a character in the book Apple Tree by Galsworthy; she is afraid of heights (has never been up Seattle’s Space Needle); and she went to a strip club on her 18th birthday (courtesy of the corrupting influence of her older sister)
February -
• in which we sang back-up (along with 700 others) for opera diva Dame Kiri Te Kanawa at an outdoor concert in the park
• in which we had a driveway party with our neighbours to wish Joan a bon voyage
• in which the school year began and Megan was back in a classroom teaching Social Studies and English, in addition to a little librarian work on the side
March -
• in which Austin (28) embarked on a Political Science degree
April -
• in which Megan tried a very British sport called bowls, which is similar to bowling only there are no pins to knock down, it’s played outdoors on perfect grass, and everyone wears white and keeps a stiff upper lip
May -
• in which Megan celebrated another birthday and disappointingly got another year older
• in which the newlyweds (Carlin and Kristen) living in Phoenix, got a new dog
June -
• in which we began a series of ascents of Auckland’s 50 volcanic cones – called mountains, but actually just hills a few hundred metres high
• in which we went to see the musical Priscilla, Queen of the Desert - good fun with outrageous costumes, plenty of ‘70s disco retrospective, and therapy for any latent homophobia
July -
• in which Megan bought a scooter and achieved notoriety among the students as the teacher on the red scooter riding around Auckland. Her coolness factor increased substantially
• in which Megan wanted to sing with a select group to welcome Condoleezza Rice’s visit to New Zealand, but was disappointingly rejected because they were recruiting young singers, despite being the only one who already knew the words to the American national anthem AND being able to sing in a fluent American accent
August -
• in which Nolan (26) announced he would be going to law school next year
• in which Boone (23) came to visit and to summit 8 mountains/volcanic cones/hills while here
• in which Boone played Scrabble against Curt 18 times during his 4 week visit – Boone won 12 times but that’s only because Curt disappointingly had “crap for letters”
• in which we had another driveway party to celebrate Boone’s visit, and then another
September -
• in which we went to our first rugby game, a truly Kiwi experience
• in which we stopped in Bellingham, WA on the way to England, and Curt delivered 3 original paintings as gifts to the boys:

• in which we spent 3 weeks in England to celebrate our 30th anniversary
• in which Megan was hit by a taxi in London while walking across the street. She survived with minor bruises; her beloved muffin was smashed in the ordeal
• in which we went to Bellingham, England and learned it’s pronounced Bell-in-jum there. Really.
October -
• in which we stopped in Portland, OR on our way home from England and saw Curt’s family, our old church family, and Megan’s old school (plus a special stop for Mrs. Fields cookies)
• in which we came home to learn that our church had failed miserably during our brief absence – first approving and then rejecting the appointment of a new pastor because she was gay. We were incensed, frustrated, and sorely disappointed over the ordeal
November -
• in which we gathered with our (Kiwi) neighbours to celebrate and offer a toast for the American election results
• in which we gathered with our Kiwi neighbours again 4 days later for the New Zealand election results
• in which Megan got hit by a car while riding on her scooter. She survived with a few cracked ribs and some minor scrapes and bruises; her beloved scooter got smashed in the ordeal
• in which Nolan and Erica announced their engagement and upcoming summer wedding
• in which Megan bought another scooter
• in which Curt finished 2 more paintings:








December -
• in which we write our clever Christmas letter

Spring Break: BELLINGHAM, WA (3 weeks in US/UK/US)

On September 20, we departed for a 3 week trip. September 20th is also Curt's birthday, and it lasted 43 hours this year! Having an extra-long birthday sounds pretty cool until you consider that his 6'2" frame was mercilessly folded into an airplane seat. Actually, it was his birthday ... and then when we crossed the International Date Line, it wasn't his birthday .. and then it was his birthday again. Got that? So he kinda had 2 birthdays. Does that mean he's one year older or two years older?

We stopped in Bellingham for a day to see 3 of the boys (the other one lives in Phoenix), my mom, and my brother & his family. It was great to catch up on everyone's lives: Nolan is taking the exam for admission to law school next week, Austin quizzed us about life in New Zealand, we got to see Boone's house, and my brother is getting a new house built on Chuckanut Bay. We went to see his steep lot where the house will be, and Curt the engineer evaluated the retaining walls, drainage system, etc. As you do.

While visiting his property, we also walked down a trail to Teddy Bear Cove, which used to be the local nudist beach but was turned into a county park a few years back so the nude sunbathers now go elsewhere. I hadn't been to Teddy Bear Cove since my senior year in high school, when I attended a big kegger down there. (besides being the nudist beach, Teddy Bear Cove's isolated location was perfect for underage beer parties) It was 33 years ago, but I still remember the musclebound football players gallantly carrying the heavy kegs down the long, steep trail. My most vivid memory of that night, however, is colliding with a log down on the beach, and the log won. My klutzmanship resulted in massive, multicoloured bruises on my shins and a limping gait for the next few weeks. What's funny is that I was about the only teenager there who wasn't drinking, yet I managed to incur the only injury. Imagine me trying to convince everyone that no, I wasn't drunk; I just tripped. Imagine the scoffing. For the record, I truly was sober. It was dark out, OK?

Besides reminiscing about parties from decades ago, I spent time with all the family and ate too much of their good food. My mom made Ross cookies for me, Gwen made Snickerdoodles, and Scott made a huge brunch plus a typically outstanding dinner for 12. That evening, my mom and I stayed up til 1:00 a.m. - long past everyone else. Having some quality time with her so we could have a deep conversation was precious. We talked about her coming out to NZ again this Christmas, and about her living all alone once my brother's family moves to their new house overlooking the bay. She's been surrounded by my brother's family since my dad died in 2007, so she hasn't yet had to experience the loneliness that usually comes with being a widow. But she seems strong and eager to face it, especially since she knows she can go live in my brother's new bayside house whenever she's ready.

Mueseum/ Mother's Day

We had another busy weekend with Nolan and Erica. Saturday we went to the Auckland Museum. Sunday was Mother's Day. Then my birthday was 2 days after that. Busy week.

1. We went to the Auckland Museum, a huge building with a brand new dome addition. I always get lost in there. The museum's displays include nature, culture and history, but Erica liked the nature stuff the best (naturally). There were all sorts of plants and animals, including fish. There were also plenty of gross-looking bugs. Nolan liked the wetas the best (naturally). There was even a giant stuffed moa - an ostrich-sized flightless bird that was hunted to extinction once humans arrived. We all liked the Maori display, especially the giant waka (canoe) and the elaborately carved marae (meeting house) that you could walk into (if you take your shoes off first). I liked the historical displays (naturally) about WWI, Gallipoli, and WWII. It was only 2.5 weeks since ANZAC Day, and there were still wreaths on the memorials and red poppies affixed to the marble wall listing lost soldiers' names.

Everyone's favourite, however, was the volcano exhibit. Curt and I are from Washington, the home state of Mt St Helens, so we have a long history with volcanoes. In 1980, we heard the BOOM, even though we were 200 miles away from the big blast. Then from 2001-2005, we had a great view of Mt St Helens out the picture window of our house in Portland where we could watch the mountain every time it decided to wake up and spew some more, which happened every 6-12 months.

In the museum's exhibit, we sat in a fake living room while watching fake news of an impending eruption in Auckland's bay. The news showed people evacuating the city, and experts evaluating the latest seismograph. There was footage of steam coming out of the bay, and then there was a huge KABOOM! The fake living room shook and nearly scared the pants off me. The lights went out and the TV screen went black. Looking out the living room's fake window, you could see the eruption, the destruction, and the ash. It was quite realistic and rather sobering. Auckland is built on 50 volcanic cones, after all.

After getting our thrills at the museum, we went to Devonport for fish and chips, with a slight detour to Devonport Chocolates (naturally). And another detour for crappuccinos (naturally).

2. Sunday was Mother's Day, which (naturally) is not a very big deal around our house because Curt doesn't want to make any holiday a big deal. He doesn't get me a present or a card or anything. (This explains why I was determined to make my 50th birthday a bigger deal by buying tickets to Fiddler on the Roof and by planning a party for myself.) Happily, this year Mother's Day was a little more special than usual because Nolan and Erica were here. I made them come to church because it was Mother's Day. Lots of people wanted to talk with them afterwards. Everyone at church always makes them feel special. That evening, Erica made salmon for dinner and it was excellent (naturally). And they got me a card. Then we watched Heavenly Creatures, which is a great NZ film, but probably not a good choice for Mother's Day because the characters in the movie kill their mother. I just hope Nolan doesn't get any ideas.

Goodbye, Bellingham

I spent almost 3 weeks in Bellingham and dare I say I had fun? I know I was there for a funeral, which isn't supposed to be "fun" but the reality is that hanging out with family IS fun and I refuse to feel guilty about it. I suppose there are families in which spending 3 weeks together at a stressful time like a funeral would be excrutiatingly uncomfortable, full of arguments and disagreements. Thank heavens my family isn't one of those.

At one point my younger brother gently accused my mom and me of actually having TOO much fun, and I had to point out that we'd already cried 3 times that day: We cried over a photo of my dad sitting in his wheelchair on one of his final days. He looked so frail, slightly slumped down, with his head cocked to one side, and a blanked wrapped around him. He was looking out the window at the bright white snowy yard and it seemed as if he was going towards the light. That photo was a real tearjerker. We also cried as she described going in to say goodbye to him one last time before they came to pick up the body. And we cried with the minister who had come over to help plan the service. So we did our share of crying.

But we also laughed and howled and hooted and snorted and had a great time together. We laughed when my two little nieces went in to say goodbye to Grandpa about 8 hours after he'd died, and one told her sister, "Come on in! He doesn't smell as bad any more!" We laughed when cat allergies caused one of my eyes to get puffy and red. Then the eyedrops I put in caused it to dilate so much I looked like I was possessed because one pupil was HUGE and one was normal (it was freaking everybody out). Everybody nearly busted their guts laughing when my #2 son serenaded us on his guitar with a performance of Buenos Tardes Amigo, complete with cat mask and fake Mexican accent. It was a highlight for all the little cousins, who couldn't stop singing that song for days afterwards. Thanks a lot, El Gato.

Yes, it was fun being in Bellingham for 3 weeks for my dad's funeral. Good times.

Memorial booklet

Paul Roley 1927-2007



baby Paul held by his father Owen in Kansas City in 1927. This is the first photograph of Paul.







Paul in 2nd grade

“In my day the average boy was a walking arsenal, armed with a pea-shooter, sling shot, and other tools of aggression. My favorite weapon for everyday combat was the rubber gun, which was fashioned out of wood and shot stout rubber bands made from an old inner tube. It could inflict a memorable sting on its victim but was not otherwise dangerous.”
7/5/90




Paul (left) was a drill sergeant in the Marines

“There also were a few who always managed to be in forefront of the action. The most conspicuous of these was Larry Treff, a skinny Jewish kid from the Bronx in New York, who four days after his 20th birthday was made a platoon sergeant and given charge of 40 men. “ 6/3/94 (referring to the book Paul compiled, G Company’s War )


Paul & Joan’s wedding 1955

“I consider my greatest good fortune in life that I married into the Dorsey family: I acquired at once a legendary mother-in-law, an esteemed father-in-law, and an ideal wife for these 41 years.”
2/6/97









in the tub with Scott and Megan













1958, three kids later:
Scott, Megan, & baby Ross

“For instance, Real Fathers don’t mind changing diapers, especially if it’s out in the front yard where they can hose the kid down afterwards. Real Fathers don’t mind giving the kids a bath, either, though their preference might be running them through a car wash. Real Fathers don’t want an expensive present for Father’s Day, but they sure would like to know they are appreciated. For you see, a Real Father really does care.” 6/18/87






family portrait 1962












camping in Wisconsin 1964










Paul began his career as a Soviet history professor, Boulder, Colorado 1965










the family moved to Bellingham in 1967

“I’ve long believed that our society would be in better shape if all the children and grandchildren of today had an old home place to return to. … This is the first and only house I’ve ever owned; I bought it when I was 40. Decades later, this red house is still home to our three grown children and a fixed point of reference for our grandchildren.” 4/4/91




family portrait 1968













Paul enjoyed working in his shop





“So who will emerge to provide the leadership this county so badly needs? I don't know, and for the first time in my life I am pessimistic about the American future. About the only comfort we can take is in the observations that "the good Lord looks after fools, drunkards, and the United States of America." 4/2/92

with Sen. Henry Jackson 1970

“Who would be so fair and honest in his judgments, so respected by the American people, to qualify for the position of "commissioner of politics"? The only possible candidate is, of course, Forest Gump, who understands that politics is like a box of chocolates--the choices you make do not always turn out to be what you expected.” 4/6/95






Paul looking at a painting of
Lenin looking at a painting
(Moscow, 1982)










He was extremely proud when his youngest son Ross entered the Air Force Academy 1976











dancing to Dixieland jazz













Paul was a voracious reader. Besides stacks of books and numerous magazines, he read 3 newspapers every morning.








at Megan’s wedding 1978












with Rev. Vince Crane 1979















pulling Austin, his first grandchild, on a sled 1983













kissing Rachel 1995

“Rachel Roley seems destined to be president someday – whether by popular election or by armed coup remains to be seen. Either is conceivable.” 6/1/95










with granddaughter Ruby 1993

“I have started drawing Social Security. While priding ourselves on our self-reliance and denouncing the welfare state, we Golden Oldies are the original Gimme Gang, particularly when it comes to that welfare system we call Social Security. Seldom do we consider that in about 3 or 4 years on average we will get back everything we and our employers paid into the system. After that we will be saying, in effect, "Just charge it to the kids." 9/5/92


Is he sleeping or reading to Ben?

“We senior citizens have to face the awful truth that we are over the hill intellectually as well as physically. You become like an aging pitcher who has lost his fast ball and has to rely on guile and experience to fake his way through. Still, that will fool the free-swinging kids every time.” 6/6/91








teaching Austin how to tie a tie 1998














with Ross’s family in Victoria 2005









at his 70th birthday party 1997

“I recently ran into the observation that since roughly World War I, there has been a tendency for people to be judged on personality rather than character. If this true, it explains much of what has happened to American society in the past 30 years.” 7/6/95





all men: Roleys and Davidsons








with Scott’s girls

“I have come up with a universal business salutation, a dignified term that is deceptively simple but brilliant in conception: ‘Dear Simms.’ This acronym combines into one word exactly what one is trying to convey: ‘Dear Sir, Madame or Miss.’ Will future social historians recognize the universal salutation for what it is, a giant step toward peace on earth, and reward its modest inventor (me) with the immortality of remembrance?” 11/4/93


with Col. Ross Roley

“I think the Yankee Doodle spirit is still alive and well across the broad face of the republic wherever work-a-day Americans go about the business of making a life for themselves and their children. And I think it will be beating in the hearts of most of us this Fourth of July.” 7/4/91



at Joan & Paul’s 50th anniversary 2005

“There was nothing special about my father-in-law except his innate decency and his deep attachment to the land. He married the finest woman I have ever known (though her daughter Joan comes close), raised a family, treasured the past and sacrificed for the future, and had hundreds of friends who mourned his passing. If that’s not success, then our priorities are badly distorted.” 9/2/87


“One thing seven decades of living has taught me is that there are no ultimate answers here on Earth, and I'm at the point where I yearn for some answers. I want to know if there is a heaven and if it is as beautiful as a 75-degree summer day here in Bellingham. I want to know how and why the universe was formed, and the full story of the descent of man, and if Shakespeare really wrote the plays attributed to him.” 6/18/99





Scott, Megan, Ross, Paul, Joan, and Duffy 2001

“Perhaps it would be a fitting epitaph to note on my tombstone, ‘He let the neighborhood kids play in his side yard.’ It’s probably the most important social contribution I’ve made in this life.” 9/1/94






looking at the snow out the window the month before he died



This is the last photograph of Paul.