Act I, Scene 2: Phoenix

Wedding Day minus 5: Flew from Las Vegas to Phoenix.
• First, stopped one more time at Mrs. Fields Cookies in the Las Vegas Airport. MmmMmm.
• My mom booked condos for the week for all of us. It would be fun to have the whole fam damily staying at the same place, even if it would get a little crowded. At that moment, we were just happy to have laundry facilities, kitchen, and a pool! Had to try out the pool right away.
• First night – went to (future daughter-in-law) Kristen’s parents’ house for dinner. Excellent opportunity to meet her folks before the rest of the clan started arriving. Yummy enchiladas for dinner. Kristen and her mom were up to their eyeballs with wedding preparations. In this instance, I am exceedingly thankful I only had sons.
• Carlin played piano for a while at their house – I hadn’t realized how much I missed having him around to pound out a few songs. I even played a duet with him ... and got perhaps half of my notes right. Kristen’s mom, Jolynn, said he looked so happy playing with me. I beamed.
• Back at the condo, I stayed up late talking with my mom, who I hadn’t seen in 10 months. She’s doing fine (of course) since my dad’s death, but I still miss her. At least I'll see her lots when she arrives in January to stay with us for 6 weeks!

Wedding Day minus 4:
• Went shopping at large warehouse retailer to stock up on American things that we can’t get in NZ, or are too expensive in NZ. At the top of my list are Nestles chocolate chips. Chocolate chips in NZ just don’t taste the same (not semi-sweet enough?), so whenever we’re in the US, we buy large quantities to take back with us. We eat them by the handful, sprinkled on ice cream, and in Toll House cookies. Today, we buy 5 industrial-sized bags, a total of 22.5 pounds. It will last us a few months. (The customs man later questioned my suitcase loaded with 10kg of an obscure substance. I pleaded chocoholic.)
• Took my mom, Carlin, and Kristen to Taliesin West, the architecture school complex built by Frank Lloyd Wright, who lived in Phoenix for many years and designed many of the buildings around town. Carlin remembers going to Falling Water, Wright’s famous house cantilevering over a creek in the woods in Pennsylvania. We’ve also been to Wright’s home and studio in Chicago, but Carlin must have been too young to remember it. Our poor kids – with an engineer for a father and an art history teacher for a mother – have been forced to see architecture and art all over the world. They may not have been too happy about it at the time, but they appreciate it now. I think.
• That evening, we made one of Carlin’s favorite meals at the condo, fettuccini alfredo. Then we decided to have the happy couple open our wedding presents to them. My mom had made them two quilted wall hangings: one was a white-on-white silk wedding pattern of a never-ending chain. The other was black and red for their new kitchen. I'd made them a photo album of Carlin’s first 24 years so Kristen could see what he looked like as a cute little kid, and so she would know a bit more what it was like growing up in our family. We all had a good time reminiscing and looking through the pictures. I love Memory Lane.
• Later, we had to drive all the way out to the Mesa airport to pick up Austin+Jonna, Nolan+Erica, and Boone. I was so excited to see the rest of my boys that I was skipping around the airport. I wasted no time getting started hugging them and patting their scruffy cheeks. And talking a mile a minute.
• For added entertainment, we used the GPS system my mom got with her rental car to guide us to the airport and back. I named the GPS voice Jeanette because she sounded like a Jeanette to me. Whenever we missed a turn, she’d say, “Recalculating,” with contempt and tell us to make a U-turn. Jeanette wasn’t always helpful because she sent us the wrong way at times, but we laughed and imitated her voice.

Wedding Day minus 3:
• Boone plugged up the toilet in the condo first thing this morning and needed a plunger. Austin needed the plunger again 30 minutes later after he plugged it up, too. Good grief. I am reminded of when we had 4 teenage boys in the house, and plunging was a daily occurrence. Why are they all such big poopers?
• Boone and I went to a mall this morning and got haircuts (he was shaggy!). I've been wearing my hair in a "bob" for at least 10 years and it's become stylish again, thanks to Victoria Beckham. Lots of students at my school have recently been getting their hair cut in bobs. Curiously, when I mentioned Victoria Beckham to Boone, he looked puzzled and inquired, "Who's that? Oh, I know - you mean Posh Spice?" Like him, I barely knew who Victoria Beckham was when I lived in America, and wouldn't have recognized David Beckham's face on a billboard. But living in New Zealand, there are strong ties to England and to English "football" (soccer) teams. A day doesn't go by without a Beckham in the news. The British (and Kiwi) obsession with athlete's wives is curious to me because in America nobody cares who's married to Peyton Manning (football) or Alex Rodriguez (baseball). Anyway, the stylist made my hair look like Victoria Beckham's, but only for a few hours. I was never able to replicate it, so I went back to looking like me by the next day. While at the mall however, I managed to find a Mrs. Fields Cookies store near the haircut place. Score.
• Then we took all the boys to pick up their tuxes. They looked quite handsome all dressed up. But there was lots of complaining: one’s jacket was totally too big and needed to be exchanged; one’s tux had a different threadcount than the others (who cares?); and one’s alterations weren’t done at the same time as the others’. Sheesh.
• Time to go back to the condo and jump in the pool.
• That evening, we all went to Kristen’s parents’ house again for a BBQ including ALL her relatives. We met Kristen’s grandma, 3 aunts, 3 uncles, unknown quantity of cousins, and 5 bridesmaids. Curt happily took over the barbecuing, and avoided as much social interaction as he could. Boone was hoping to charm a bridesmaid, but didn't have any success.
• Back at the condo, we stayed up late laughing and playing cards. I lost many times, but always had a pair of fours. Not good.

Wedding Day minus 2:
• Ditched everyone to go shopping all alone for jeans and shorts. Having family around is heavenly, but it was equally heavenly to escape the close quarters and obtain a bit of solitude. Plus we needed groceries. Also went to the post office to mail postcards to my work colleagues and my students. I’ll probably be back to work before the postcards get there. Oh well.
• When I returned to the condo at 3:00, the men were all at the pool drinking tequila as a prelude to the bachelor party t that night. Brother.
• Tonight while the young people were all at the bachelor or bachelorette parties (in NZ, they'd call it a hen party), Curt and my mom and I stayed home for a nice quiet evening. I opened one of the bags of chocolate chips and made 65 Black Bottom Cupcakes (Carlin’s favorite) to be the Groom’s Cake. I’ve never heard of the "Groom's Cake" tradition before. But it was a good excuse to a) eat handfuls of chocolate chips; b) lick the spoon, the beaters, and the bowl; and c) eat multiple cupcakes. Did 2 loads of dishes and 2 loads of towels. Unrelenting shortage of towels around here due to 7 people swimming, showers, etc.

Wedding Day minus 1: Rehearsal
• The male members of the family watched a football game on TV while the females went to the pool. My younger brother Ross had arrived from Hawaii and wanted to watch his alma mater, Air Force play Notre Dame. (I think they won)
• Piled everyone into 2 cars to go to the rehearsal at 3:30. Jeanette guided us there. I got weepy during the rehearsal, as the reality of "losing" my little boy hit me. : ( There's a ceremonial "giving away the bride", but no equivalent to giving away the groom. What's up with that? Overall, the groom's mother is supposed to be pretty invisible. Kristen's grandma informed me of a funny saying last night: that the mother of the groom's job is to wear beige and keep quiet. Sadly, I'm not very good at either of those things.
• Piled back into the cars to head to the rehearsal dinner. In the car, Boone announced that he needed to poop. Big poop. He hoped there would be a plunger at the house we're going to. The rest of the boys added their suggestions for plunger substitutes: chop sticks, plastic knife, even bare hands. These guys are all twenty-something, but I swear they act like they're six years old with their obsessive bathroom humor.
• Rehearsal dinner was a Santa Maria style BBQ in someone's back yard. Not sure what makes it Santa Maria style. LOTS of people there (55?), mostly Kristen's relatives. I wrote the check. My mantra: wear beige and keep quiet.
• Carlin presented gifts to his groomsmen: beer mugs engraved with their nicknames: Worsty (Austin), Best Bud (Nolan), and Big Blinga (Boone). These will be put to good use, I'm sure.
• Dinner was over by 8:30 so we all went back to the condo for a pool party, including the groomsmen. My older brother Scott, wife Diana, and their two daughters arrived that night too, after driving for 3 days from Bellingham. Gwen (10) is on the local swim team and she raced Curt (53) one length of the pool and won. Poor Curt. Boone and Sasha (9) played in the pool, but mostly we sat around the hot tub and had a mini-family reunion that night. Good times.

Wedding Day:
• The 3 boys had to go for a photo shoot at the restaurant where the reception would be held later that night, a really cool location with fountains and archways and bridges and lights. Carlin had chosen all 3 of his brothers to be his Best Men, plus he had 3 other groomsmen. Before the wedding, the photographer took lots of artsy photos of the wedding party. Everyone looked spiffy. My boys clean up nice.
• Tried to get semi-spiffy myself, and we all went to the church for the wedding. Curt looked enviably spiffy in his tux. Nolan escorted me down the aisle, then Jolynn and I lit the unity candles. I didn't trip over my dress. This is good. Then there was a slideshow comprised of pictures of Carlin as a little boy, Kristen as a little girl, and finally pictures of them together. The slideshow was the moment when I started crying. This is bad. But totally expected. I had a wad of tissues stashed in Curt's pocket.
• The wedding was beautiful, of course.
• Then we posed for family pictures - the Davidsons were represented by 14 of us; Kristen had about 75 people from her side of the family. Quality over quantity?
• Next it was off to the reception. All 3 of the Best Men/brothers gave little speeches about Carlin, but the microphone kept flicking on and off, so people could only hear every other word like this: "I'd like xxx that Carlin xxxx really xxxx and I xxxx he and xxxx ..." Meanwhile, Austin & Nolan had smuggled in some vodka and tequila. (the reception was supposed to be dry) They had an especially good time. Poor Boone never did charm any of the bridesmaids. At the end, we all farewelled the bride and groom and blew bubbles as they got into their limo after the reception.
• Then we headed back to the condo for one last pool party, and to say goodbye to my 2 brothers who would be leaving the next morning. It was good of them to come all the way to Phoenix for the wedding/family reunion.