Memorial speech

This eulogy was delivered by Megan Davidson for her father, Paul Roley:

"Dad insisted that we all tell the truth at his memorial service. Above all else, intellectual honesty was his most cherished value.

My dad could be a difficult man. But as you can see in this gathering today, he had many loyal friends who respected his work ethic and his relentless pursuit of truth. He often arrived at a different conclusion than some of us, but he would be prepared to defend his position with published analyses from experts and intellectuals. He had a very low threshold for opinions expressed in ignorance. He didn’t mind a vigorous debate of the issues, so long as you could back up your argument with facts.

Listen again to those terms: relentless … defend … low threshold … vigorous debate … argument. It’s no wonder Dad and I had so many differences amid that kind of environment, BUT we also have many traits and values in common that I treasure and I know they were a gift from him:

1. Family: My dad did not come from a stable family environment, and he desperately wanted to be part of an American dream family not unlike a Norman Rockwell painting. If you look around you today, you will see that largely, he succeeded: a loving wife of 51 years, three successful children, and ten cherished grandchildren to carry on his legacy. His notion of the ideal family mainly came from my mother’s family – good, hardworking folk from Illinois who have farmed the same land for 8 generations. Although he did not till the earth like them, Dad sowed his seeds of knowledge in the minds of his offspring and his students. Some of those seeds germinated and matured to bear sizeable fruit. Dad can be forgiven for his frustration that much of the fruit rolled so far from the tree.

As for me, I stayed in Bellingham for 20 years and raised my kids here, and we even lived next door to my mom and dad for 15 of those years. Living in close proximity to family can definitely have its drawbacks, but I wouldn’t trade those years for the world. My boys were so fortunate to grow up with Grandma and Grandpa (who they called G-ma & G-pa) as part of their daily lives. The family bonds they developed in their early years led to their dedication during Grandpa’s final years and months, when Austin and Nolan came over unfailingly to transfer him into the wheelchair, or to watch over him so Grandma could attend church, or to take out the garbage on Wednesday nights. Grandpa can be proud of cultivating the close, ideal family unit that he always craved, for these grandsons are living proof of his having achieved that goal. Even more significantly, my older brother Scott and his family have recently relocated to Bellingham after 25 years away to help take care of Dad in his final months, and to be near Mom. Understandably, she is tickled to have a new set of grandkids who will be raised here among extended family. Dad, thank you for placing such a high value on family.

2. Politics: Dad introduced me to politics when I was about 10. As kids, we used to go doorbelling, stuff envelopes, and work at Democratic headquarters. My brother and I even served as pages in Olympia, and I went on to teach government and constitution to 8th graders. I certainly got my love of politics from him. Some of you may not be aware of this, but Dad used to be a loyal Democrat and he raised us to be liberal Democrats too. It was only later that he became a Conservative Republican. He always said that I, too, would “see the light” some day and become a Republican when I got older and wiser. With our differing political views, we had plenty to disagree about over the last 25 years, but I am enormously thankful that he introduced me to politics. He showed me what it was like to believe passionately in something, and to work actively to make it happen. Thanks, Dad. That lesson was priceless.

3. Intellect: Dad LOVED to learn new things. He loved to read and he was always soaking up new information, which he couldn’t wait to pass on to others. How many of you ever received from him a photocopy of an article that he wanted you to read? Well, I received plenty over the years. One of my strongest memories will be of him opening his briefcase and pulling out articles. Dad’s appetite for intellectual stimulation was boundless. As a result, he was never boring. He didn’t have much patience for people who weren’t interested in learning, however. He used to grumble about his history students who didn’t know the 50 states. He’d tell them, “I’ve got a 5-year-old grandson who knows all 50 states and so should you!” I am forever grateful that he passed on his insatiable intellectual curiosity to me and my brothers and to the grandkids.

Yes, Dad knew he wasn’t a saint. We all knew who the saint was in our family and she’s sitting right there. The remarkable thing was that in spite of his faults, Dad still had enough endearing qualities that we are all here today to pay tribute to him. Well done, Dad."