Megan's Typical Day

6:45 Curt wakes me up. He's my friendly alarm clock. I don't want to get up. I loll.
7:00 I finally get up, shower, eat toast for breakfast and drive to school (10 minute commute)
8:00 Arrive at school.

CHAPTER 1 - VIDEO
8:05 Looking around school for a Health video I'm supposed to show. But everyone's supposed to show it this week and I don't know who had it last.
8:07 Ask the PE teacher. He doesn't have it.
8:09 Try room 6, the teacher in charge of this health program. Uh oh. She's not here today.
8:11 Try room 7 since I'm in the neighbourhood. Nobody there.
8:13 Room 8. He doesn't know.
8:15 Try room 5 on my way back. Nobody there.
8:17 Room 1. Nobody there.
8:19 Ask the Science teacher. He doesn't know.
8:21 Ask room 9's teacher. She says it may be sitting on her table. I go look. Nope. Not there.
8:23 Room 6 again. I ask the students. They direct me to a drawer where the video is kept. Hallelujah!
8:25 Back to my room. I check the notes for the Health lessons and discover that I have the wrong video (#2). Jeez.
8:27 Back to room 6 to replace video #2 in her drawer. Her students don't know the whereabouts of video #1.
8:29 The teacher from room 4 is looking for video #2. Should I tell her where to find it? Yes. I do. She also is looking for the TV cart. I ask to use it after her. (there's only one TV on a cart)
8:31 Try room 2. YES! They watched it yesterday and have about 2 minutes left to see. She will send it over to me right away.

CHAPTER 2 - AEROBICS / PHOTOCOPYING
I haven't made copies of the other Health worksheets yet. (I was never told that I was supposed to have been teaching Health to my kids all term. So when I turned in my report cards, that section was blank. Yesterday the Curriculum Director told me to quick teach 5 or 6 Health lessons so I'll have something to write on the reports. Last night I got 3 lessons ready.)
8:30 Kids are starting to come in and get changed into their PE clothes They change in the room. (They wear PE clothes layered under their uniforms.) I can't leave the room to make copies because my students fight and steal and throw chairs. Maybe I can run to the copy room while they're in aerobics even though I'm supposed to help monitor the kids. (Teachers have to make all their own copies; there's no Diana Woods to help me)
8:31 Barry enters, clearly unmedicated: facial tics, punching, the usual. I quickly send him to the office for his meds.
8:33 The Asst. Principal stops by my room to remind me that I'm on duty as aerobics monitor today. Yes Sir.
8:35 Aerobics starts. I try to look like I'm monitoring my little heart out. There are 3 other teachers monitoring too. They won't notice if I slip away, will they?
8:50 I sneak out to make copies. I run into the Asst. Principal on the way. Caught red-handed. Oh brother.
8:55 Aerobics ends. Kids changing clothes in my room again. Lots of whooping it up, pushing, slapping with a shirt, etc.

CHAPTER 3 -LIBRARY / SWEARING AT THE TEACHER
My students need to type their persuasive writing assignment. There's only 16 computers in the library, though. So the other 14 kids will run around and play tag if I don't have something for them to do. This is why the photocopies were so crucial. Last night I made a crossword and cryptogram about slang terms for marijuana and stuff like that.
9:00 I remind them that we're going there to type and they must bring their draft with them. And bring a pencil. We walk across the blacktop to the library building. Kids jump in the puddles or run to be the first one to dibs the couch. A few chase each other through the trees.
9:02 Arrive at library. Half the class is typing. Half the class is doing the marijuana crossword puzzle. They LOVE it, thank goodness. Except 3 who didn't bring a pencil. They run back to get pencils.
9:45 Switch halves. About 5 kids didn't bring their draft. Each runs back to get it. More jumping in puddles.
9:50 Some kids are already finished. That's bad.
9:55 Starts to deteriorate. Kids on the couch are starting to throw pillows.
10:00 I'm still trying to get everyone's paper saved onto my memory stick. (There's no networking. No printer in the library. No printer in my room. I'll take my memory stick to the teacher room after school and print everyone's paper.)
10:10 Zann (Chinese boy, speaks no English) dangles a little spider in front of Laurie and Ellie. They both let out blood-curdling screams, just as he'd hoped they would. The Foods teacher from across the blacktop comes outside to see who is being murdered in the library.
10:15 Time to go back to the classroom. I leave my trusted computer-wizard, Sam, to stay with 2 boys who are still typing. He can save their work onto my memory stick. It's totally against the rules to leave 3 people here unattended, but I can't stay here any longer with all the chaos. (Later I find out that Sam did their typing for them while they played games on the computer)
10:18 We walk back to the classroom. More running and chasing and lots of punching.
10:20 Ellie asks if she can go get a drink. I say no, recess will start in 10 minutes. She says "F*** You." I send her to the principal.
10:25 She returns and clearly has not been to the principal yet. She tries to bribe me with her lunch money ($5) and pleads me not to tell.
10:30 Bell rings. I take Ellie to the principal who makes her call her mom and tell her what she said.

CHAPTER 4 WATCHING VIDEO / MATHS
During recess, I go to room 4 to get the TV cart so we can watch the video. Someone else has usurped it, claiming higher importance. We'll have to go back to the library to watch it instead.
10:50 Bell rings. Students mosey in. (There's no tardy bell 5 minutes later)
10:55 Most kids have come in by now. I explain the situation. We walk over to the library again. You know the routine.
11:00 Can't get the VCR to work. Unhooked cable from DVD player and hooked up VCR but it's not working. Kids are NOT waiting patiently. (Luckily I've removed the pillows this time.) Andrea tries to help. Sam, my techno-wizard tries to help. We try every configuration.
11:10 We give up. Everyone walks/runs/jumps/punches their way back to the classroom except Sam who stays to tinker with the VCR.
11:15 Let's do Maths instead. I've confiscated most of the games they used to play like Battleship, Secret Code and Checkers because they lose or throw the pieces. The remaining activities are not as exciting.
11:20 I'm working with one group on the floor, reading bar graphs. Allison punches Mark for the umpteenth time. I send her to the foyer to do her maths. I think she has a crush on Mark.
11:29 Mike finally returns from the library. He owes me 16 minutes of his lunchtime.
11:30 Sam returns. He got the video working. We'll try again later.
11:35 Switch groups. Mike's group is trying hard to win the lollies for being Group-of-the-Week. They're way ahead of everyone else.
11:40 Sam reports that Mike has matches. I confiscate them. Mike says he found them. Uh huh.
11:45 Patricia and Laurie haven't done any maths at all day. They say the activities are all too boring.
11:50 Maths over. Lunch doesn't start till 12 and I don't have anything short for them to do. Luckily, another teacher arrives and says she is here to take my class because I have a visitor in the office. It's Ellie's mom, who has brought flowers AND chocolate AND a big long letter AND an apology written by Ellie. The flowers smell good.

CHAPTER 5 - LUNCH
12:00 Lunch. Chocolate.
12:16 Mike is now allowed to go to lunch.
12:20 I need Andrea and Zann to write some student reflections for their report cards.
12:30 Andrea is done.
12:50 After 30 minutes, here's what I've gotten from Zann - English: "It's hard." Maths: "It's easy." The character trait he says he's good at is: "Honesty" which is a crock. (He always stole stuff from my storage closet so now I lock it. Instead he steals from other kids, hides their stuff, and denies it. He thinks it's cute.)

CHAPTER 6 - WATCHING VIDEO, 2nd attempt

1:00 Bell rings. Kids mosey in. Mike kicks his rugby ball in the classroom. I put it in the cupboard.
1:05 Off to the library for the 3rd time today. The kids who stay in line and walk appropriately win the right to sit on the couch. I send Sam ahead of everyone to get the VCR ready.
1:10 Video is pretty boring. Kids pay attention about half the time but then talk, make shadow puppets in the sunlight, kick the person next to them, and fight over the armrest on the couch.
1:40 We don't finish the video but we saw enough. Back to the classroom.
1:45 I make them sit quietly for 10 minutes because they were so naughty during the video.
1:46 Tim is singing. We start over. I send Tim into the hall.
1:48 Mike talks. We start over. Mark and Mitchell are drawing which is good. A few kids are reading.
1:51 Barry talks. We start over.
1:56 Five minutes is good enough. I bring Tim back in.

CHAPTER 7 - HEALTH PRESENTATIONS
1:57 Time to start another Health lesson which involves working in groups and presenting.
2:15 Start presentations
2:25 Mark is whispering to Mike who is whispering to Tim who is whispering to the next guy. What are they doing?
2:30 The boys' mouths are all moving like they're chewing cud or something. And they're curling their tongues. There's little white things on the tips of their tongues. It's spitwads! We pause so I can confiscate all their paper and they can pick up the spitwads from the floor.
2:45 Finished with presentations. I pass out newsletters. They write about their behaviour in their Learning Logs. Pack bags. Put up chairs.
3:00 Bell rings. Whew
3:15 Curriculum Leader comes in with some changes I have to make on my report cards. He admits it would have good if he had shown me how to do it before we started. I'm so clueless most of the time, and all year nobody has been training or orienting new people like me. Like the fact that I didn't know I was supposed to be teaching health all year! The report card changes (270) have to be done by tomorrow morning.
3:30 Get ready for tomorrow. Make copies. Put away maths.
4:00 I go to the teacher room to print everyone's persuasive writing. Oops. Forgot to bring paper for the printer. Back to my room to unlock the closet where I keep my paper. Then back to the teacher room. Someone else has the computer. I wait my turn.

CHAPTER 8 - HOME
5:30 Home.
5:31 Plug in laptop and start entering changes to report cards.
5:45 Curt arrives and says he's had a poopy day. He tells me his problems and then I tell him about my day and he feels all better. He's quite entertained by all that goes on at my school. When I told him the part about wasting 30 minutes looking for the video this morning, he said "Why don't you just email everyone and ask who has it?"
"because we don't have email"
"Oh yeah."
He suggests I write a blog about it all.